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my teeth hurt
:::2002-11-01:::3:18 a.m.:::

it's been a very emotional week. not really in a bad way... but not so much in a good way either. i've been really pissed at myself this month... mostly for being a jerk. i like to say i don't have any grudges... cause honestly i think it's dumb to have grudges.. they take so much more effort than friendships... and they're just too.... negative... so yeah... i say things like that but i still manage to turn around and badmouth someone i barely even know. frustrations. that's just sort of an example i guess... it's not the specific reason or anything... mostly i find myself participating in the same things i can't stand... like writing this stuff in my cool hot rad online diary. you know i started this thing in order to break the trend of depressed teenage online diaries... look how successfull i've been... i don't think it took me long to join in on the whining. hehe. i don't know what i'm gonna be for halloween. this, of course, is the least of my worries...

does wolvie mean "Demimondaine" in a bad "zeis is such a slutwhore that is no longer respected in our society of gamers"...

or was he just being cute in a "laura you sleep around" kinda way?

not that i'm offended... i was just curious.

i wish i actually saw these people (wolvie, leila, etc etc...) more often. maby tonight at becky's.

penis wrinkles are a good place to find spare change.

aww... penis wrinkles... those rambles remind me of grade nine when i had just joined the theatre "group" at my school. i went to the ninth grade school, cause our high school didn't have room for ninth grade... so they built an aquarium JUST for us. (^_^) anywho... since my best friend was ayear older than me, i hung out with older kids, and there was this guy. his parents hated him, he was goofy and watched ranma 1/2. we were going to make t-shirts for halloween and be different parts of a cell... i was gonna be the mitochondria, and he was gonna be the flagella... and we called the radiostation and i was on the air saying "MONKEYNIPPLES IS FUN TO SAY!"

you know those tacky capsules you can throw into your bathtub and watch turn into dinosaurs, or planes... or like.. bill cosby's mom or something? he made me a dinosaur sponge necklace. it was quite possibly the ugliest thing i ever owned but i wore it cause he made it for me. i ended up dating one of our mutual good friends and eventually the only time i saw him is when he came to watch marching band practice with erin's older brother. i think he withdrew from school and that's why i never saw him very much after sophomore year...

the summer before i left for college i was cleaning my room and i found it on my goose lamp... i think i accidentally threw it away... i really wish i hadn't... when i left for italy that summer he took some ecstacy laced with heroine and passed away.

i don't think i had talked to him for like... a year... but it was still so sad.

so i wish i still had that homemade dino-capsule on black braided string. i actually wore it... heh...

this entry ended up being a lot longer than i had intended.

i write paper now, then study for german test. then yaye for paint and fun time with fun peoples.