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automatic? wow. good word for this week. wow. i don't know what to think about it. i don't WANT to think about it. i guess i can just expect it to continue, right? i can either dwell on everyone else's drama or i can create my own, and damnit... i'm sick of being so bloody vicarious. i decided to run three miles tonight... at midight... leah convinced me to go in because i was alone... and yes... i know i'm not supposed to do that and i know it's dangerous and stupid. i did it anyways (^_^). sometimes you need alone time. in college you're around people ALL THE TIME. i realized how great it is to just have a few moments to sit on that bridge at one in the morning and watch the stars and the cars. feel the cold whip your face and know that no one will be there for hours. at the same time your body's pumping adrenalin like oil. and i wasn't out of breath when my sister called. i'm a mutant. excited about her coming in tomorrow. wanting this weekend to be fun. please please please. another nightmare, another nosebleed. laughter mania, hey? you kids have a safe friday morning.
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